One thing I've avoided talking about so far is The Big F. Not, perhaps, what first comes to mind when someone mentions the F word; I - and millions of others like me - have another. It isn't a four letter word, but certainly carries some derogatory thoughts for those of us that share it.
Fibromyalgia. The friend that's with you 24/7 and never leaves your side; that you can count on to greet you when wake up in the morning, to tuck you in at night and follow you every step of your day.Better than a shadow, even, because it's more noticeable on those days when the sun hides his face.
First, foremost and always there is pain. Aching, throbbing, dull, sharp - a different kind of pain for different parts of my body and sometimes from hour to hour for those parts that hurt. I have stiffness and pain in my hands, my upper back and shoulders, on my upper chest just below my collarbone and to each side of my sternum, particularly in the morning.
These places are the "constants". The thing about FM pain is that it can travel and/or spread so that many days my entire body aches, throbs, burns - you name a variety of pain and on those days it's there somewhere. With medication, my pain is usually about 3 - 5 on a scale of 10, but can also rise to near unbearable - 7 - 10. ( People with FM (as well as many others) tend to rate wellness on a scale of 1 - 10. 1 is the very least; 10 the worst we've ever experienced.)
These places are the "constants". The thing about FM pain is that it can travel and/or spread so that many days my entire body aches, throbs, burns - you name a variety of pain and on those days it's there somewhere. With medication, my pain is usually about 3 - 5 on a scale of 10, but can also rise to near unbearable - 7 - 10. ( People with FM (as well as many others) tend to rate wellness on a scale of 1 - 10. 1 is the very least; 10 the worst we've ever experienced.)
Fatigue is another constant. Some days it's very mild; other days it's disabling. And while I can sometimes predict when it will hit or know why, that isn't always true. Many days, all will be reasonably good, when suddenly its as if I've completely lost the power to remain upright.
There is no energy left. For anything. Like the pain this worsens in damp or chilly weather or when the weather changes. Combine the two and nothing can be accomplished on those days.
Brain (cognitive) dysfunction. Some days, I feel like all the jokes about people losing their memory were invented because of me. My name? Give me a second... My phone number? Forget it! Unlike pain and fatigue, this isn't so constant. Like them, however, is the fact that I don't always (ever?) know when it will hit! It's as if my brain is a chalkboard and someone just comes along and erases anything I need to know. Not everything I know; just the particular facts I'm trying to retrieve at the time. And I know this happens to everyone, not just those with FM. I think the frequency of occurrence is much higher for us, though.
There are some other issues here and there that occur, but these three are the main culprits, the things that make it so difficult to just get up each morning. The others - dizziness, blurred vision, weight gain (or loss for some people, not me, though), headache, IBS, sleep problems, anxiety and problems breathing - just seem to go with the territory for me.
There are medications that help and reducing daily stress has a huge impact. Except for maybe a mention of good or bad days, I may never mention FM again. Just once, though, I wanted to just put it out there!
There are medications that help and reducing daily stress has a huge impact. Except for maybe a mention of good or bad days, I may never mention FM again. Just once, though, I wanted to just put it out there!
